Laughter is the Best Medicine

Jokes and stories designed to make you laugh, gathered from ALL over. Sources will be identified when known. When you need a quick pick-me-up or need a smile, hopefully something here will tickle your funnybone. If anyone has a problem with any post, please feel free to comment and it will be removed.

Name:
Location: Cleveland, Ohio, United States

Quiet and introverted, shy, extremely intelligent, hardworking, loyal, kind, considerate, generous.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Time Passes

1974: Long hair
2005: Longing for hair

1974: KEG
2005: EKG

1974: Acid rock
2005: Acid reflux

1974: Moving to California because it's cool
2005: Moving to California because it's warm

1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1974: Seeds and stems
2005: Roughage

1974: Hoping for a BMW
2005: Hoping for a BM

1974: The Grateful Dead
2005: Dr. Kavorkian

1974: Going to a new, hip joint
2005: Receiving a new hip joint

1974: Rolling Stones
2005: Kidney Stones

1974: Being called into the principal's office
2005: Calling the principal's office

1974: Screw the system
2005: Upgrade the system
1974: Disco
2005: Costco

1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2005: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1974: Passing the drivers' test
2005: Passing the vision test

1974: Whatever
2005: Depends

____________________________________________
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not h aving a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald's never came in styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

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