Book Report

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

• Titanic: $29.99
• Clinton: $29.99
  
  
• Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
• Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
  
  
• Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
• Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
  
  
• Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
• Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
  
  
• Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
• Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
  
  
• Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
• Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
  
  
• Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
• Clinton: Let's not go there.
  
  
• Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
• Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
  
  
• Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
• Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
  
  
• Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
• Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
  
  
• Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
• Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same thing